The Animal Tales

I was having lunch with my boss and 3 other colleagues. We were chatting about eating chicken and the bird flu outbreak currently. Then the topic drifted to how meats, porks and chickens are sold in S'pore. Boss was explaining on S'pore markets only sell slaughtered chickens and it will have to be displayed in a fridge (like the one you seen in supermarkets). Then, the rest were explaining on how our wet market looks like and how the aunties blow the fur at the butt of the chickens to make their choice. Don't ask me, I certainly don't understand which part of the anatomy of a chicken involved in this process. Then, story drifted to how people also bought back live chicken and try to slaughter it themselves. And it reminds me of a few stories that have to do with animals.....

Chicken Runs

This story happens way back when I was still in primary. I was living in a shophouse back then. We have a long corridor which open to the next block and it is connected from front to the back of the house. Generally, it means you can see your neighbours and what they are doing from the corridor. That day was a day for Chinese offering. Chicken is usual to have for offering. I don't know what come into my father's mind. He said, he wanted to slaughter the chicken himself. So, he bought back a live chicken.

My father was doing the slaughter in the toilet to avoid the chicken running around and bloodied the whole house. So, he did what professional did, slice the throat and cover the chicken with the pail! However, my father forgot to hold the pail down and the chicken manage to struggle free! And here comes the chicken running along the corridor with blood spurting out from the throat! My father has to run along with it to capture it.

When the chicken slaughtered, my mum realised the hole created by the knife on the throat is too big! Solution? My mum sew the hole to make it look smaller....... (hahahahaha)


Crabs

My mum used to buy crab. She will steam the crab with 7 slices of ginger and 7 small cups of D.O.M. Yum.. Yum.. it taste nice and it is suppose to help regulate blood in the body. Curious as I am, I like to peek at the crab and poke it. Safe enough as it was always tied up. My father is trying to warn me against poking it with my finger.

Father: Old people used to said crabs don't let go when it snap you.
Pig_angel: So how do you make it let go?
Father: You have to wait until thunderstorm. Only thunder will make the crab let go.

Pig_angel laugh like hell.. thinking of the crab dangling on your finger and the fact the thunder will make the crab let go.

Mother: Aiyoo.. which old man told you that! You only need to poke the eye. That is its weakness.


Tigers and durians

One fine day, we were sitting around chatting about how in a durian farm, you won't be finding animals like snakes or tigers. Durian is the only kind of fruit that I know will drop on the ground once it is ripe. Thus, there are times you might hear accidents of durian dropping on people's head. It is rarely happens but it does.

Father: Who said there is no tigers in durian farm? Bet you guys haven't seen tiger eat durian before.

That is really a shock to Pig_angel, thinking on how tiger manage to open the durian (so many torns!!!).

Father: The tiger's paw is powerful. One powerful slap on the durian, 'kapow'!!!! The durian split into 2.

Pig_angel rolled off the floor laughing.... kesian that tiger, must have a lot of puncture holes on the paw.


Unlucky rat

This piece of story was from a good friend. There used to be rats running around the house (the ground floor). Once this brother in law of hers, which happen to be quite a beefy man, slept in a room at the ground floor. As usual, he stepped out of bed when he woke up. And those were the moment when this rat decided to run and passed by underneath the big foot!!! Piak!!!!! Eeeewwww....... the rat died instantly underneath that powerful step.

What happen this week

What happen to you this week? Well, it is time for you to think back what have you done, what have happen to you this week that worth remembering, anything that had made you puff up like porcupine... bla bla... Come to think of it, sometimes, too many things happen that you end up don't remember or your life is just so damn boring and nothing, I mean nothing at all happen.

Let's just see mine:

Monday (13/2/06): Eve of valentine. But I don't have any plan. So, I bugged anybody so that they tell me their plans. Bugging people to get somebody to celebrate. Getting people in my team to stay for OT. Yes, work come flooding in. Have been telling baby hippo that I planned to eat 'pak gor' at home for valentine... and he laugh like hell. Super chu chai's birthday.

Tuesday (14/2/06): It is Valentine's Day. Some people got surprising bouquet of flowers. While people like me went home empty handed and worst still spending the night OT in office until 9.00pm! That night was a havoc in traffic. Heavy rain just before office hour ended, and then heard somewhere in town, road was obstructed by falling trees and caused a heavy massive jam all over. I sighed thinking of those who initially planned out a wonderful romantic dinner and now have to change their plans because you can't make it to the restaurant or anywhere planned.

Wednesday (15/2/06): Another long day for me. OT again. Very pressure too. Trying to make sure service level is up to mark. Damn! So many complains too...Car was giving me a bit of worries. Start up in the morning like old ladies coughing. Shit, have to get this checked.

Thursday (16/2/06) : Teased Dominic. Wished belated birthday to super chu chai. Planned to get car to the workshop on Saturday. Tracking down on SLA. Planned on lunch on Friday. Boss was pissing off with IT cyber.. never seen her so angry before. She was spitting fire...ego monster and team member got roasted. Gone home at 9pm again. Tired mad, read my story book and then fall asleep at 11.30pm.

Friday (17/2/06) : Today is Eugene's birthday. No way to wish him because had not have any contact with him since Form five. We ate lunch at Chulan's Square.Volume of cases coming down, allelujah! But we are still staying back and you are right, tomorrow we have to work.. sob sob....Teased Dominic again. He was telling me he stayed until 8 yesterday to support us when I said to him "so much for supporting us, but you went back before we do". I answered him I stayed until 9.00pm .. he went "oh..." (speechless). hahahahaa... Jing Ting called to arrange for steamboat tomorrow. Damn exhausted man... want to go home earlier.. left office at 8.45 - that is early. Dominic stayed until then. Hahahahaa... guilty as he is. The real reason for going home early is to be able to bath, do laundry (one week's clothes waiting to be washed) and to be able to sit down for American Idol!.

Got home.. put everything into the washing machine and got it started, only to notice there isn't any water supply.. DAMN!. Stop the machine... took a brief bath, no washing hair.

Saturday (18/2/06) : Woke up at 8.00.... yawn. Neighbours said there will be another day of water ressession.... better keep the pails full before I go. 8.45am, went to work shop. Sat at King's confectionnery for 1 hour before I can get my car back. Luckily I got my book. I jammed all the way back to office. Sighed.. reached at 11.00 and I left at 3.00. To my surprise, ego monster work today. Cannot believe it. Got home... rest a little, bath, do laundry and then out again for steamboat. My tummy already growling... we reached the steamboat place at 9.00 pm.. cause it was congested all the way to the place... my tummy almost misplaced to the back. We have had a wonderful time.. laughing and talking. Eat a lot - steamboat, chicken wings... yum yum....planning for another outing... 11.00pm, I reached home. Read a bit again before I dozed off. I finished the whole story book.

Sunday (19/2/06): Repleneshing my sleep.. got up at 11.00am! hehehehe.. ate lunch at 12.30pm. Being pestered for not blogging... some people trying to kill boredom by asking me to blog something for her to read. Here I am, doing this long long long essay for her...hahahahaha.... hope she is not so bored after reading this. At the same time, I am chatting with Chen Hoe and YK (just online). Guess I am going to start another book today. I read like nobody's business... hahahahaa. My bro got home just now... searching the fridge for things to gulp down...

Sigh.. isn't this boring... well life is life. May next week is a better week. That is all I can say...

Chinese Valentine's Day

Today is the 15th day of the CNY, which is also Chinese Valentine's Day. Hahahaa... what a coincidence...14th February is only 2 days away. For Chinese belief, the singles ladies (in the olden days) will be out on the street hoping to be able to find the right guy. And bachelor will also hoping for this chance to meet the girl of their life.. hahahaaha. Single girls will also be making their wish using mandarin oranges and then will throw the oranges into the river, hoping the flow of the current will bring the wish to somebody meaningful.

I was getting a well wishing sms from a friend for this auspicious day. In reply to his sms, I put in :
Today is Chinese Valentine's Day. Remember to buy pomelo, write in your name, phone no, address, email before you toss it!

Hahahaha.. the idea is in the modern era is that you will need to try to maximise your desperate measure to get somebody. Nowadays, counting only on blessing is not enough, you will need to make it apparent.. pomelo will offer bigger space for you to write in all your particulars. You can actually toss a crate of pomeloes with your particulars imprinted on it so that it will cover wider geographical areas.. hahahaa. As for guys, to wider your chance to meet the right gal, you should bring in a net in order to be able to catch more of those imprinted pomelos... hahahahaa...

**Please do not attempt to above tossing of pomeloes or netting of pomelos as they are both against the government's law of polluting the river and illegal fishing... hahahahahaa

'Bookaholic'

"Bookaholic" on the lose again!! Hahahaha...don't let Pig_angel stepped into bookstore. She will never leave without any books in hand. She can spend 200+ on books at one go.. gila!

I don't know why, I have this crazy notion of spending my days inside the bookstore. Not library but bookstores. I never like the library to be honest with you. Spending my time in the library was like a rabbit trap in it's cage! Don't believe huh? It is true, you can ask my coursemates in uni, if they have ever seen me in library - reading... the only time I am there is when it is exam and I will be in uni early to book myself in one of the cubicle (meant for group study). But often enough, those coursemates who spotted me in one will see me dozing off in it. It is comfy because the librarian will not bug in and ask you to keep your snoring to the minimum... hehehehehe.. joking. Nobody will bother us because the cubicle is at the lowest level which only those who need to search through articles in journals will be there. Thus, it is a solitary place for us to get naps before exams. Convenient too you know.

I don't really like libraries because most of the time I cannot find anything to read..honest! I don't like the mushy smell of the old books and the most is, you have to wait for your turns to get the book you wanted cause there might be other people who has their hands on it. Besides, you will be given only 2 weeks and if you need the book further, you need to renew the terms, otherwise you will be fined! And worst, you cannot reread it anytime you want!

But all of that will be different with bookstores. There have shelves with nicely stacked books according to authors and genre. They also have those computer system which allowed you to check books online - if the books are available in the bookstore and which shelves it belongs to, complete with maps to help you find the shelves. Bookstores also offer booking for books you wanted through internet and you can collect it there! Wonderful right? They also have very comfortable sofas for you to settle your butt in while you skim through the books you are interested in. Besides the comfort, bookstore offers you variety of versions of the book you read. One title you will have variety of publishing versions and also paperbag covers. Hehehehe..yeah, I always have tough time deciding which version I prefer. And the version goes with the price sometimes - books printed in UK is definitely more expensive compared to US or Canada. The only thing about bookstore is, you have to pay the books you want to read and it cost! But you have the book forever...

I like to collect books, mainly because I will flip through those again later when I am free, thus, it is worth all the bomb I am paying... Cheers!

CNY 2006

Gong Xi Fa Cai! It is the chinese lunar new year. Today is the 3rd day already. Yes, and tomorrow I am working.. so sad. Those who is still on holiday, please please please enjoy. I am actually Yahoo messaging with a friend when I am typing this blog.

What is CNY:

She said.... its a gathering where the whole lot of ur family can attack with the same questions like .. 'Do you have boyfriend yet?'.

Pig_angel said... when you answered "Don't have". They will prod further "Why don't have? Mix with more people la... don't be so picky la...?" Wah lau eh.. you think buy vege in market ah... don't be so picky? How to pick when nobody to pick? (hahahahaha)

She also said ... even if u dont see them.. ur mom will adjust ur power and give u the highest power of attacking about not having a bf.

She also make a point of ... when u have bf.. they will change tactic to pester u to get marry. After get marry.. time has ripen for them to attack u on having kids..when u have kids..its time to attack on should have more kids

Pig_angel said... it is also a time to make comparison of achievements in 'some' relatives and a time to show off. Well, we cannot run away from all this.. the best way is to keep quiet.

Pig_angel also said... but it is also a time to care. I can't remember that my grandma is this old when I saw her this year. She has problem hearing, left only countable teeth and she is trying to fit in to all of us.

Pig_angel also said ... it is also a time for financial aids as you will be getting ang pau.. heheeheh but also a financial downpour for those who needs to give out ang pau. Pity the newly weds.. they need to give 2 ang paus for the first year. Bless those with lots of children because you will be "earning " more by getting more ang pau... hahahahaha

Pig_angel mentioned .. it can be a time for you to gain weight easily if you start to put in whatever you see into your mouth. All the dinners.... visitation.. wah lau eh, your mouth move non stop, you also eat non stop and then your tummy also grow non-stop. (I diarrhoea 4 times on 1st day.. eat too much!)

Pig_angel never fail to notice .. it is the only time KL have no jam whatever time you get out of the house. In fact you can reach PJ in 15 mins rather than usaul 30 mins or 1 hr with jam. For this period, you can actually sleep across the road without problem.. yeah yeah!

Well, well... it is here, and it will pass soon.. cherish this moment friends. It is only here once a year. For those who have no choice but to confront your relatives on those dreadful questions, just remember they actually care for you. Fot those who have to face those hypocrite relatives, just take it as challenge to do better next year. For those, trying to fight the temptation of keeping your body in shape.. laxative might help. For those who enjoy the liberty of driving without jam, please DO NOT speed!

Hppy Chinese New Year!