The Animal Tales

I was having lunch with my boss and 3 other colleagues. We were chatting about eating chicken and the bird flu outbreak currently. Then the topic drifted to how meats, porks and chickens are sold in S'pore. Boss was explaining on S'pore markets only sell slaughtered chickens and it will have to be displayed in a fridge (like the one you seen in supermarkets). Then, the rest were explaining on how our wet market looks like and how the aunties blow the fur at the butt of the chickens to make their choice. Don't ask me, I certainly don't understand which part of the anatomy of a chicken involved in this process. Then, story drifted to how people also bought back live chicken and try to slaughter it themselves. And it reminds me of a few stories that have to do with animals.....

Chicken Runs

This story happens way back when I was still in primary. I was living in a shophouse back then. We have a long corridor which open to the next block and it is connected from front to the back of the house. Generally, it means you can see your neighbours and what they are doing from the corridor. That day was a day for Chinese offering. Chicken is usual to have for offering. I don't know what come into my father's mind. He said, he wanted to slaughter the chicken himself. So, he bought back a live chicken.

My father was doing the slaughter in the toilet to avoid the chicken running around and bloodied the whole house. So, he did what professional did, slice the throat and cover the chicken with the pail! However, my father forgot to hold the pail down and the chicken manage to struggle free! And here comes the chicken running along the corridor with blood spurting out from the throat! My father has to run along with it to capture it.

When the chicken slaughtered, my mum realised the hole created by the knife on the throat is too big! Solution? My mum sew the hole to make it look smaller....... (hahahahaha)


Crabs

My mum used to buy crab. She will steam the crab with 7 slices of ginger and 7 small cups of D.O.M. Yum.. Yum.. it taste nice and it is suppose to help regulate blood in the body. Curious as I am, I like to peek at the crab and poke it. Safe enough as it was always tied up. My father is trying to warn me against poking it with my finger.

Father: Old people used to said crabs don't let go when it snap you.
Pig_angel: So how do you make it let go?
Father: You have to wait until thunderstorm. Only thunder will make the crab let go.

Pig_angel laugh like hell.. thinking of the crab dangling on your finger and the fact the thunder will make the crab let go.

Mother: Aiyoo.. which old man told you that! You only need to poke the eye. That is its weakness.


Tigers and durians

One fine day, we were sitting around chatting about how in a durian farm, you won't be finding animals like snakes or tigers. Durian is the only kind of fruit that I know will drop on the ground once it is ripe. Thus, there are times you might hear accidents of durian dropping on people's head. It is rarely happens but it does.

Father: Who said there is no tigers in durian farm? Bet you guys haven't seen tiger eat durian before.

That is really a shock to Pig_angel, thinking on how tiger manage to open the durian (so many torns!!!).

Father: The tiger's paw is powerful. One powerful slap on the durian, 'kapow'!!!! The durian split into 2.

Pig_angel rolled off the floor laughing.... kesian that tiger, must have a lot of puncture holes on the paw.


Unlucky rat

This piece of story was from a good friend. There used to be rats running around the house (the ground floor). Once this brother in law of hers, which happen to be quite a beefy man, slept in a room at the ground floor. As usual, he stepped out of bed when he woke up. And those were the moment when this rat decided to run and passed by underneath the big foot!!! Piak!!!!! Eeeewwww....... the rat died instantly underneath that powerful step.