Letter from Colchester, England

I received a 6 pages long letter from aunty Nicola (she is my mum's sis who lives in Colchester, England now with her husband who has kidney failure and diabetes.). In the letter she wrote to share with us her experience on taking care Uncle Guy who has to go through dialysis 3 times a week and in the waiting list for renal transplant. Uncle Guy has a congenital disease, which leads him to multiple diseases. Diabetes is one of them. As far as i remember, Uncle Guy is 14 years younger than my aunty. He is now in his thirties, but he has had a heart transplant done. However the disease progress further, and now he has renal failure. His parents initially volunteered to donate a kidney to him but sadly their blood group is not compatible and his only brother has not volunteered. But Aunty Nicola and Uncle Guy had been very understanding. I remembered that he was always in and out the hospital due to various conditions.

Uncle Guy has to where a long sleeve shirt as the frequent dialysis cause his fistula on the arm sometimes swollen. He also suffers consequences of the dialysis - vomitting, exhaustion, feeling ill, indigestion and pain at times at the joint as the calcium accumulated at the nerve and he is constantly on medication. His diet is strictly least in water and low/almost none potassium. He can only take 3 half cup of tea daily, no coffee. Aunty Nicola has to follow a strict way to prepare his food to make sure it is healthy for him cause a slight mistake will poison him. Aunty Nicola also mentioned that sometimes Uncle Guy will become short tempered and less patient as he used to be, but Aunty Nicola bears with him, understanding his condition. And Uncle Guy on the other hand will try his very best to cooperate and ease Aunty Nicola's burden.

Tough ha? Well, what touches me most is the part where Aunty Nicola mentioned to me that they treasure everyday they spend together and she was always reminded how Uncle Guy was when he was not in this state. Aunty Nicola has to quit her job to take care of him. And they don't have any moeny at all, Aunty Nicola is the sole bread winer. They don't have any child though.

She is actually trying to console me and mum to be strong with Pa's condition. I wanted to cry out when I read her letter, but not in front of mum. Mum can't read in English, I just provide her the necessary details. I guess she was right, we should treasure each day we has with the one we loved. Pa might not with us for long. In a way, we are sensing he already let go himself and only biding his time. He fell down today, sprawled on the floor. Seeing him lying helpless on the floor makes me feel so sore.

Pa is the person who loved me the most. There isn't any other guy in the world who can replace him. As a child, I was the one he pampered. He will try his very best to fulfill my wish even tough it will scrap every penny he has. supportive and protect me and always been there to help me escaped mum's canning session when I fair badly in exam. No matter what I do, he will forgive me and will not scold me. Even if he do, he will be guilty after that. Up to now, he only caned me once and I remembered because of that incident, I did not talked to him for 3 days. I was 11 then. There is always a wish that I want him to live in a house owned and sit in a car I bought. But till now, I have not fulfil this. The proudest thing I ever did for him is to be the first Daughter and the Chin's to get a degree. But he did not have the chance to attend my convocations. He can only see me wearing my robes in the hospital. Aunty Nicola enlightened me today... we have to treasure everyday we spend with loved ones. I know I will miss him when he leave us... cause he is the best guy and father I ever had!

(Aunty Nicola met uncle Guy when she was sent by University Malaya to do her PhD in English Language. For love, Aunty Nicola chose to remain in England, she did not complete her PhD. They got married in England in a small ceremony. Aunty Nicola knew Uncle Guy's condition when they got married. For love, age is not a boundry and what matter most is the time they had spend together. May God bless them!)