Cracked my head

I have been cracking my head for the whole night and unable to read my book in peace. All started with the first quiz below then the trail continue... my gosh! I admit I am poor in all these but at least I tried.

1. I live in the water. If you cut my head, I am at your door. If you cut my tail, I am a fruit. If you cut both, then I am which you. What am I?

2. Ikan apa yang hodoh lagi bodoh?

3. Most of the time I will be in a male trousers. I'm vary from 3 to 6 inches. Sometimes I'll be in shorts. I'm sometimes hard and most of the time soft. If you shake, I might spit out something. What am I?

4. What do you call a blind deer?

5. What has 4 legs when stands, 2 legs when sit, taller when sit, shorter when stand?


Hahahaa.....I think most people would have known the answers. Only me .......
Answers:
1. PEARL - cut the head is EARL, cut the tail is PEAR, cut both is EAR.
2. Ikan Yu
3. Wallet
4. No eye deer
5. Dog (basically I think watever 4 legged animals - except maybe giraffe)